Hello! I know it has been literally….. almost 3 months since I’ve posted here – if you follow me anywhere else I’ve said why but I’ll just re-type it for convenience sake. I no longer have a laptop I can use to post – I also have no intentions of getting a new one either. Eli’s Mom has given me her old one to use but he has yet to sort it out for me since he’s been busy with end of the year uni work.
“How are you posting this?” I’m using my work computer, which is in the attic – that I only use when I’m at work. So that’s why I’m not using it for blogposts but it’s been so long I figured I’d post an update because I haven’t abandoned my blog! I do have a keyboard for my iPad, it’s not the most ideal way for me to post because I don’t like WordPresses mobile layout but I also don’t want to get into the continues bad habit of posting primarily on Twitter or posting personal things on FurAffinity as both have led to un-needed conflict and judgement from others. Here I can just be myself without any censoring which I much prefer.
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In relation to this I’ve pretty much cut out all forms of interaction regarding myself / my work altogether. Submission & journal comments on FurAffinity are disabled unless they are commission related (or if feedback is needed). I have removed my personal chatting handles publicly except for this blog so people need to ask to have them. I’ve disabled personal messages from Twitter unless we follow each other. So at the moment the only “public” way to interact with me is through Twitter replies or replies on this blog. I originally wanted to leave FurAffinity journal comments open but it has provided just as negative to my mental health, if the same happens with this blog I will remove them aswell (if that’s even possible) but I’m hoping that people with behave so that I don’t have to do that.
Additionally, I left all Discord & Telegram group chats that I was apart of. I’ve held off on doing this for a long time incase I regret it but these are all public servers that if I ever felt in the right mindset I could easily join again. Ultimately I would much prefer to have completely new Telegram & Discord handles completely that only friends know the handles of but it’s just too much work to actually do. This sort of “self isolation” phase has been really helping my mental health a lot. I feel an immense pressure to reply to messages and have intense conversations constantly that I just can’t mentally keep up with – messaging these days comes with a lot of pressure and fear, it’s not something you just do. By removing comments on most of my sumbission sites it’s also allowing me to create artwork for myself and not for feedback. I no longer feel like I need to upload every drawing I create in fear that if I don’t – or if I get no comments on it it will have been a “waste”.
All of the above are things regarding to my own mental health and well-being directly. I am not giving advice – I am not saying that it will work for you. This change has made me feel more mentally healthy regarding social interactions with others than I have in a long time and has done wonders for me!
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My sort of “comfort” thing right now is Animal Jam – which is great because it’s something that allows me to just completely remove myself from my artwork and furry persona in general. I’ve even made a group of friends who pretty much know nothing about my art and just like me for who I am as a person which feels good. I doubt anyone who’s reading this plays but if you do my username is Rainbowredcrayon. Please tell me if you’re adding me as I don’t add random people!
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This is just a random blog as a general update – I don’t have anything fun to share since I haven’t been taking any pictures to post here. I’ll give a try posting on the iPad again. The Spirit movie comes out next month (although the merchandise over here is very very minimal), I am doing my dream job, lockdown has lifted, I am feeling happy again, things are good. Thankyou to whoever has read!
